Friday, 29 November 2013

Why do love marriages result in more divorces than arranged marriages?

What is love?
    H. H. Dalai Lama Compassion is the desire for another to have freedom from suffering.
Love is the desire for another to have happiness.(a beautiful definition)
In practical daily life, love= admiration and acceptance by a partner.
Love is an extremely simple and ultimately powerful energy which must be "discovered in the modern world because the veils of materialism have obscured it.” In this series of articles about marriage,  I am emphasizing on love between two individuals,  as lovers.
Some of this Love experience would appear to be very deep. It hurts! However the result of developing one's capacity to Love is extremely positive and beneficial. The knowledge gained through struggle to understand Love is the pearl,  got by one at a great price. It is Precious. One may have to fight - and to win- a lifelong battle to recognize the reality of Love.
In Astrology there are planets and some of these planets cause Love and affect it as well, just like the planets affect our other functions of life. Some of the planets may give us love while the effect of others may deprive or obstruct us from receiving love. That is true, Astrology can help us even in the matters of heart…love
The foremost in Astrology is the Self –the Lagna from where the whole story about an individual starts. Therefore, if one loves ones own self only then one will be able to love others and be worthy of love of others. The love of ones own self is the Greater Love. The greater love is not emotionally need-based and cannot be betrayed by loss, disdain or "cheating. The greater love is absolutely personal, and does not involve other humans. The Quest for this greater love is fueled by a love of knowledge, a hunger for Truth, a deep and ceaseless Spiritual Desire. The Greatest Love is considered by philosophers (lovers of knowledge) to be the ultimate prize for humans.
The second most important love in Astrology is represented by the Moon (Chandra),Venus (Shukra)/ and Saturn (Shani).These represent the Lesser Love which  is a sincere and genuine expression of human emotional need, which  cannot be disregarded or oppressed without emotional backlash. Humans need touch. Humans need security, protection, connection to people and a place. Humans need mothering, sheltering, acceptance and approval. These are basic needs of the human beings. The first love a human feels is the love of mother (Moon).If a child does not get enough love in childhood , then one will remain "unconscious, chained to the Moon, and living in lifelong hunger for continuous sheltering, ego-reflective mother-approval.”
In Astrology, Falling in love with a beloved is a function of the 5th house which is the house of the Sun. Falling in love is a Sun-type ego-driven Idealization projection. One sees the beloved as a mirror reflection,  only of one's favorable traits. In the Idealized state, mirror-reflection of non-flattering or negative aspects of oneself is temporarily excluded due to Sun’s instinct to see divine presence in the beloved. Persons who have married after falling in love will generally confirm that they "hoped that their Idealized, divinized, heart-love state to continue forever.”
But after marriage vows are spoken, the power of the D-9 comes fully into play. After marriage vows, one does start to receive the Jupiter driven D-9"full view of oneself from the spouse.”
Is it possible to move from the expectations developed under the Planet Sun in the idealized "falling in love stage, toward an authentic Venus guided and Jupiter controlled contractual marriage”?
Yes it is possible. So why do love marriages  result in more divorces than arranged marriages.  This is because there is a perceptual and expectations gap which must be bridged in order to move forward properly. Love marriages are purely physical love (Venus)  and the expectations are very high between the partners.
That gap between the self-admiring, adolescent (effect of 5th house) projection of Sun's divine intelligence vs. the balanced equality of Venus's long-term partnering commitment(7th house)  is one of the reasons why " love marriage is considered socially treacherous (and why parents, who have a track record of success in contractual partnership, are often charged with responsibility to arrange their child's marriage.)
To take love seriously and to undergo it and learn it like a profession - that is what young people need to do.
Like so many other things, people have also misunderstood the position love has in life.  People have made it into play and pleasure because they thought that play and pleasure is more blissful than work. But there is nothing happier than work. Precisely because love is the supreme happiness, it can be nothing other than work. So those who love must try to act as if they had a great work to accomplish. They must be much alone and go into themselves to gather and concentrate on themselves; they must work on themselves & their beloved so that they must become something.
And those who want to have a deep love in their lives, they must collect, save and gather it like honey is gathered and saved by the honey bee. You cannot take love for granted; you need to work for love.
To be continued
Next article on “How to have a happy married life”

1 comment:

  1. Dr priya 15/07/1983,12;45 pm,bhilai husband dr bala 29/04/1979,5;25 am,rajnandgaon chhattisgarh.i had 1 ectopic and 2 miscarriages.planning for ivf in December .it will be successful or not. Should we opt for surrogacy or myself can be mother .plz help