Friday, 29 November 2013

Why do love marriages result in more divorces than arranged marriages?

What is love?
    H. H. Dalai Lama Compassion is the desire for another to have freedom from suffering.
Love is the desire for another to have happiness.(a beautiful definition)
In practical daily life, love= admiration and acceptance by a partner.
Love is an extremely simple and ultimately powerful energy which must be "discovered in the modern world because the veils of materialism have obscured it.” In this series of articles about marriage,  I am emphasizing on love between two individuals,  as lovers.
Some of this Love experience would appear to be very deep. It hurts! However the result of developing one's capacity to Love is extremely positive and beneficial. The knowledge gained through struggle to understand Love is the pearl,  got by one at a great price. It is Precious. One may have to fight - and to win- a lifelong battle to recognize the reality of Love.
In Astrology there are planets and some of these planets cause Love and affect it as well, just like the planets affect our other functions of life. Some of the planets may give us love while the effect of others may deprive or obstruct us from receiving love. That is true, Astrology can help us even in the matters of heart…love
The foremost in Astrology is the Self –the Lagna from where the whole story about an individual starts. Therefore, if one loves ones own self only then one will be able to love others and be worthy of love of others. The love of ones own self is the Greater Love. The greater love is not emotionally need-based and cannot be betrayed by loss, disdain or "cheating. The greater love is absolutely personal, and does not involve other humans. The Quest for this greater love is fueled by a love of knowledge, a hunger for Truth, a deep and ceaseless Spiritual Desire. The Greatest Love is considered by philosophers (lovers of knowledge) to be the ultimate prize for humans.
The second most important love in Astrology is represented by the Moon (Chandra),Venus (Shukra)/ and Saturn (Shani).These represent the Lesser Love which  is a sincere and genuine expression of human emotional need, which  cannot be disregarded or oppressed without emotional backlash. Humans need touch. Humans need security, protection, connection to people and a place. Humans need mothering, sheltering, acceptance and approval. These are basic needs of the human beings. The first love a human feels is the love of mother (Moon).If a child does not get enough love in childhood , then one will remain "unconscious, chained to the Moon, and living in lifelong hunger for continuous sheltering, ego-reflective mother-approval.”
In Astrology, Falling in love with a beloved is a function of the 5th house which is the house of the Sun. Falling in love is a Sun-type ego-driven Idealization projection. One sees the beloved as a mirror reflection,  only of one's favorable traits. In the Idealized state, mirror-reflection of non-flattering or negative aspects of oneself is temporarily excluded due to Sun’s instinct to see divine presence in the beloved. Persons who have married after falling in love will generally confirm that they "hoped that their Idealized, divinized, heart-love state to continue forever.”
But after marriage vows are spoken, the power of the D-9 comes fully into play. After marriage vows, one does start to receive the Jupiter driven D-9"full view of oneself from the spouse.”
Is it possible to move from the expectations developed under the Planet Sun in the idealized "falling in love stage, toward an authentic Venus guided and Jupiter controlled contractual marriage”?
Yes it is possible. So why do love marriages  result in more divorces than arranged marriages.  This is because there is a perceptual and expectations gap which must be bridged in order to move forward properly. Love marriages are purely physical love (Venus)  and the expectations are very high between the partners.
That gap between the self-admiring, adolescent (effect of 5th house) projection of Sun's divine intelligence vs. the balanced equality of Venus's long-term partnering commitment(7th house)  is one of the reasons why " love marriage is considered socially treacherous (and why parents, who have a track record of success in contractual partnership, are often charged with responsibility to arrange their child's marriage.)
To take love seriously and to undergo it and learn it like a profession - that is what young people need to do.
Like so many other things, people have also misunderstood the position love has in life.  People have made it into play and pleasure because they thought that play and pleasure is more blissful than work. But there is nothing happier than work. Precisely because love is the supreme happiness, it can be nothing other than work. So those who love must try to act as if they had a great work to accomplish. They must be much alone and go into themselves to gather and concentrate on themselves; they must work on themselves & their beloved so that they must become something.
And those who want to have a deep love in their lives, they must collect, save and gather it like honey is gathered and saved by the honey bee. You cannot take love for granted; you need to work for love.
To be continued
Next article on “How to have a happy married life”

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Why marriage is important?

The three most psychically complex relationships we have in this life involve the life partner, children, and parents. We cannot alter the parents we have but we can certainly choose our partner as well as our children.
Despite the Euro-American romanticizing of marriage as a strictly personal, emotional decision, the Jyotisha view is that marriage is a very strategic choice which must be carefully considered in light of its future impact on one’s public standing and complete life.
The 7th house in the birth chart is the marriage house. It is 10th-from-10th house. The 10th house is known as the Karma house. As the name suggests, it effects our profession and work. Therefore it plays a very very important role in a person’s life. The career of a person makes his overall public image and social status. Social status is indicated in order of importance by
1. bhava-10 public authority and leadership role
2. bhava-7 (10th-from-10th) marriage status
3. bhava-4 (10th-from-10th-from-10th) property ownership
4. bhava-1 (10th-from-10th-from-10th-from-10th) physical appearance
Marriage conditions are of high significance in social ranking and personal dignity. A strong marriage to a helpful, enthusiastic, appreciative partner can hugely assist career developments. The spouse and (by extension of the signification of 7th house) other peer partners in business and community life, can potentially double one's effect in the world, which increases the public recognition and approval defined in 10th house.
A weak marriage house (7th house) bodes poorly for one’s self-respect, and makes high levels of public approval fairly inaccessible. And while a good 10th house might "trump a bad 7th house, it's unlikely that one with a severely damaged 7th house will be able to fully ascend the ladder of social recognition, no matter how excellent the characteristics of the 10th karma bhava.
Moreover the effect of the marriage is directly related to the children. This is another important relationship and is an outcome of the marriage, all though it would never cross the mind of the young people but remember we are choosing the future parent for our child. (House 5-putra bhava).This is going to be a lifelong effect on you directly.
This is an important message for the young people. Marriage is an important relationship in life which is going to affect the future of our lives as well as that of our children, we need to make a very sensible choice of a partner. We live major and maximum part of our lives with the married partner, we need to make an informed and a very careful decision .Physical attributes will not be sufficient for a happy married life, we need much more.
Emphasizing this most crucial relationship (whose creation has been left to our choice) it would be wise to remember
·    Marriage is a Living Yoga. As the old joke goes, everyone wants to get married, but no one wants to "be married”. But of course it is the "being married” which is the true reality. There is really nothing to get, except the social approval. All the work and all the reward is loaded into the "being" part.
·   Marriage is actually a living spiritual environment, like a garden, which must be lovingly tended, through drought and frost, in good years and bad. It has weather cycles like the earth. Take care.
·   Much like a child, it is constantly in process, constantly negotiating for change, and requires constant awareness and attention of both the partners.
·   Clearly marriage is not a "thing or an "achievement but rather an interactive process. Marriage is an Ongoing yoga = a vital and supremely demanding negotiation for self-definition, core meaning, emotional security, and higher truth.
·   Marriage is a sophisticated spiritual practice which needs dedication and wise guidance.

·   The core of marriage practice is ongoing forgivenesswhich allows us to register disappointment, anger, grief etc. Forgiveness allows one to accept responsibility for the karma, and - at the point of acknowledgement - to release the addiction to suffering, by releasing the attachment to the cause.

Saturday, 23 November 2013

What is marriage?

Most of the people have heard of Raj Yoga and say that person is so very rich; he has Raj Yoga in his Kundli.
 Let me now introduce u to another important yoga in astrology which we all have in our Kundlis but we are not aware of it as a yoga. The marriage Yoga, it is a “Commitment Yoga". It is affected mainly by the 7th house known as the Yuvati Bhava
Yuvati = yoga = yoke
Marriage is one of the most important Yoga in our lives. It is the central yoga, the central balance point, the central control, and the central discipline, of the entire human life.
Every human being has this Yoga whether it is the ordained celibate religious monk, who has only his god in his heart or a simple human being like you and me. Everyone is "yoked" on some level to a mirroring, judging, responding, participating partner.
Like any yoke- or yoga - marriage creates both stability and bondage. Whether the marriage is experienced as a blessing or a curse depends on the condition of Yuvati bhava (the 7th house) and its relationship to each of the other 11 houses of the radix chart.
The marriage yoke binds self- indicated by lagna (house 1) to “other” house7
·   Two partners enter the Yoke like two oxen. After the yoke is on, they have to work together, pulling in the same direction.
·   If they don't, it hurts- and nothing gets accomplished.
·   If they do, a nice plowed field will manifest - and everybody, including the oxen, will flourish.
“The good or ill hap of a good or ill life,
is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.”
This is what Benjamin Franklin had said about marriage.
 He himself had marital problems.  His first wife was married to someone else and thus legally only his concubine. His eldest son was illegitimate (a huge stigma in those days).
 The word Marriage is defined as junction, adjust, justifiable, conjugal, justice, adjudicate, conjunct, juncture, disjunction, injunction, adjunct, judicious, yoke, yoga, well-adjusted (Reference English etymological dictionary).
·         Any officiated marriage is a consciously committed partnership in which
(1)  Vows of matrimony are spoken (this maybe even in private) between any two persons of any gender (or by their priests), in the presence of a third, a witness, such as a priest, govt official, or in the presence of a sacred fire homa.
--- Or ---
 (2) A child was conceived into the union (even if that pregnancy did not result in the birth of a live child).
There may be an impulsive, brief, childless legal marriage in which vows were spoken while drugged or in a confused or traumatized state of mind. These rare, deceptive pseudo-marriages are "null and do not count as marriage despite the fact that the "performative statement" was issued. If it wasn't for the vow, which makes this union a truly sacred commitment, the day of the ceremony would have no value at all. The real work is not in "getting married but in "being married”.
It has been common practice in many cultures worldwide and especially now in the modern west as well as the east for partners to enjoy long-term exclusive sexual partnerships, especially in youth. These are merely loving relationships and not a real marriage. These marriage-like relationships (live-in, sweet, romantic, sexually pleasuring relationships) don't generally qualify as marriage. These lovely sweetheart romances, even when long-lasting, indeed belong to bhava-5, the house of amusements, poetry, fame and romantic love.
So you see the moment the partners take the vows, the relationship changes and so do the astrological houses. From the 5th house relationship it is now a 7th house relationship and that is what every wife and husband say, you were different before marriage, and the wife complains that “he cared more before marriage”. The attitude of the partners changes as the planets position has changed. This is almost the case with every married couple that they complain about the change in attitude of the spouse.

To be continued
(Next topic --Why is marriage important ?)

Saturday, 2 November 2013

The ill effects of fire crackers.

Do not light fire-crackers they attract negative energy for you.

Diwali is associated with lights, sweets, and liveliness; especially lights. As, it is celebrated on the new-moon (Amavasya) night, lights and fireworks have a significant role to play in this festival. This is why, when we hear the name Diwali, a picture of multicolored and impressive fireworks, sprinkling various sorts of bright colored lights in the night sky flashes past the mind.

We all have heard about the ill effects of fire crackers like pollution and accidents .Burning or lighting the fire crackers seems to be a brave thing . Oh I can do it. But astrological and spiritual effects of fire crackers is bad and in fact we are inviting a host of evils when we are lighting the fire crackers.  The tradition of fireworks on Diwali is not very old and the burning of  fire crackers are not a part of the original  Diwali celebrations, which marked the return of Lord Rama to Ayodhya .Lighting of fire crackers is  something started in the late eighteenth century . 

No body seems to under stand the  effects of the fire crackers and no body knows why fire crackers are lighted. Burning of  Fire crackers is not a mark of  auspicious  ritual either. It is quite well known that dogs and cats all hide during Diwali because of the crackers. Even the person lightening the cracker runs for his safety after lightening the cracker. It is  common knowledge that it is the animals like dogs and cats who go into hiding before the natural calamities because of the danger they sense and they do the sme on Diwali night

The animals are also known to feel the presence of evil much before us humans. Actually it is the evil effects of the fire crackers which effects the animals. The fire crackers are tamasik. Tamas is a force which promotes darkness, dissolution , death, destruction and ignorance. Tamas is where the demons and asuras dwell. The tama component  attracts demoniacal energies. These demoniacal energies affects all life including human beings and they also become tama predominant. Thus the  sanctity of  a happy and auspicious festival like Diwali  is lost.

For our own good let us say No to Fire Crackers and  have an auspicious Diwali.